In new English curriculum: "Divorce", Future tense of Marriage.
In new Maths curriculum: 98 % of the exam is a pass. The other 3 % doesn't matter
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Review: Farscape S1, E10 - They've Got a Secret
Farscape S1, E10 - They've Got a Secret
This episode focuses on personal history for Ka D'Argo, deep and complex personal history. Through a series of events and some obvious brain messing, Ka D'Argo reveals that he had a wife and child. The wife just happened to be a peace keeper, who was murdered by her very own brother for her union with Ka D'Argo. It was that murder that D'Argo was charged with, as his 'real' crime.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
I just loved the entire way Ka D'Argo acted towards the other crew members.
This episode focuses on personal history for Ka D'Argo, deep and complex personal history. Through a series of events and some obvious brain messing, Ka D'Argo reveals that he had a wife and child. The wife just happened to be a peace keeper, who was murdered by her very own brother for her union with Ka D'Argo. It was that murder that D'Argo was charged with, as his 'real' crime.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
I just loved the entire way Ka D'Argo acted towards the other crew members.
Review: Farscape S1, E9 - DNA Mad Scientist
Farscape S1, E9 - DNA Mad Scientist
This episode also has an important underpinning to the characters, causing them to open up and become more complex. They all run on their one main ambition that has been shown so far: to find a place to belong. Zhaan, Rygel, Ka D'Argo and Crichton all approach a doctor to get a genetic map to their homelands. As payment for this information, they must gain one of Pilot's arms. Through a brutal display, Pilot's arm is forcably removed by Zhaan, Rygel, and Ka D'Argo.
Aeryn, aware and upset that she cannot go home as she is banished, she goes to the doctor to find a place where she can fit in. He injects her with Pilot's DNA, thus causing her to mutate into a Pilot. It is through this that she admits her fear to Crichton (something a peace keeper never does).
Review: Farscape S1, E8 - That Old Black Magic
Farscape S1, E8 - That Old Black Magic
This episode really isn't shown as important as it really is. Crichton gets captured by an evil "vampire" as he so called it, a black wizard. The vampire brings Crais into the scene as well, and a cat and mouse chase game where only one can survive. Crichton, being the moral person he is, tries to reason with Crais, but Crais has his mind on only one thing; killing Crichton.
Over the time spent in his prison, Crichton becomes more and more injured, until he too is fianlly resorted to violence. This is a major point for the show; as much as Crichton may try to reason, he is not always successful.
Zhaan as well also has a major turning point for the show, one which constantly turns up over and over throughout the series. She becomes, for the sake of saving Crichton, evil. By using powers she buried deep within herself many many years ago, she re-awakes an evil in herself that she can call whenever she needs it. Only she fears she cannot control that evil.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"Would you destroy one evil, only to introduce another?" - Zhaan. "I think I would prefer the lesser evil." - Ka D'Argo. This is when they are deciding who and how they should attack the evil wizard.
Review: Farscape S1, E6 - PK Tech Girl
Farscape S1, E6 - PK Tech Girl
This episode elapses a little different from the rest of the episodes so far. It focuses primarily on character development, particularly that of Aeryn and Crichton. There is the underlying plot involving the discovering an abandoned ship, and an attack whilst defenceless.
Whilst upon this ship, the crew stumbles upon a Peace Keeper Tech Girl. It is with this girl that Crichton woo's with his descriptions of Earth, and they have an ever passionate kiss. Meanwhile, Aeryn realises through this episode that she had some interest in Crichton.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"I was interested, but not any more." - Aeryn, admitting her like for Crichton.
This episode elapses a little different from the rest of the episodes so far. It focuses primarily on character development, particularly that of Aeryn and Crichton. There is the underlying plot involving the discovering an abandoned ship, and an attack whilst defenceless.
Whilst upon this ship, the crew stumbles upon a Peace Keeper Tech Girl. It is with this girl that Crichton woo's with his descriptions of Earth, and they have an ever passionate kiss. Meanwhile, Aeryn realises through this episode that she had some interest in Crichton.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"I was interested, but not any more." - Aeryn, admitting her like for Crichton.
Review: Farscape S1, E6 - Thank God It's Friday, Again
Farscape S1, E6 - Thank God It's Friday, Again
This episode focuses on a different planet on which the crew are forced to stay upon, as Ka D'Argo refuses to leave. Over time they discover that there is something not quite right about the food, and that it is basically controlling their minds. But it extends further than that; the entire population have basically become slaves. Crichton is fed a worm, which removes the drug like toxin's from his system, and enables him to see the real disasters happening around him. It is through Crichton's strategies that he stands up against the oppressor ruler and free's the people.
Meanwhile, Rygle's body has a violent reaction to the food from this planet, which is later used as a weapon.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"No one knows you here. It's only the people who know you that want to kill you." - Aeryn, talking to Rygel after an 'assassintation' attempt.
It was rather amusing how its always 'friday'. Everyday is the last day of work, and tomorrow is always a rest day in which should be celebrated the night before.
Review: Farscape S1, E5 - Back and Back and Back To the Future
Farscape S1, E5 - Back and Back and Back To the Future
This episode a 'cousin' species of Ka D'Argo is introduced into the story. There is Mutella, and Burrel (sorry if the names are wrong). They are both researchers of black holes, which doesn't become apparent until much later in the story. It is because of this black hole that Crichton is affected, and as a result he begins to see the future, well different versions of it.
As time goes on, he sees Mutella sudjucing him, killing Ka D'Argo and Burrel, etc. Being the moral man he is, he begins to "alter the sequence of events and change the future." - Zhaan.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"I'm glad you're joining me." - Aeryn. "Me too. And I'm really in the mood for some physical activity." - Mutella, as they head towards the exercise area.
"If these future flashes are occuring as you say John, you could just simple alter the sequence of events and change the future" - Zhaan, when consoling Crichton.
"He says he is experiencing the future." - Zhaan. "The future? He can barely function in the present." - Aeryn, when she comes to tell them about Mutella the spy.
"Pilot, I need star burst - and I am talking about right now." - Crichton, when the black hole is about to form.
This episode a 'cousin' species of Ka D'Argo is introduced into the story. There is Mutella, and Burrel (sorry if the names are wrong). They are both researchers of black holes, which doesn't become apparent until much later in the story. It is because of this black hole that Crichton is affected, and as a result he begins to see the future, well different versions of it.
As time goes on, he sees Mutella sudjucing him, killing Ka D'Argo and Burrel, etc. Being the moral man he is, he begins to "alter the sequence of events and change the future." - Zhaan.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"I'm glad you're joining me." - Aeryn. "Me too. And I'm really in the mood for some physical activity." - Mutella, as they head towards the exercise area.
"If these future flashes are occuring as you say John, you could just simple alter the sequence of events and change the future" - Zhaan, when consoling Crichton.
"He says he is experiencing the future." - Zhaan. "The future? He can barely function in the present." - Aeryn, when she comes to tell them about Mutella the spy.
"Pilot, I need star burst - and I am talking about right now." - Crichton, when the black hole is about to form.
Review: Farscape S1, E4 - Throne for a Loss
Farscape S1, E4 - Throne for a Loss
This episode explores the characters 'true' personalities. Rygel is shown as a character who is rude, demanding and unlikable. Despite this, he is also shown as cunning and manipulative; he convinces his capturers that he is a very important emperor. He also shows that he thinks about his situation, apparent when he takes a vital part of Moya and makes it a part of his scepter. By doing this, he is forced to be rescued when he is kidnapped.
Ka D'Argo shows he is underneath rather brutal, a ruthless leader. Yet despite this, he shows soft affection for Aeryn later on in the episode, when she is feeling sick.
Aeryn shows she is just as demanding as Ka D'Argo when she puts on the gauntlet. She becomes stubborn and over-confident, risking the lives of the crew.
Crichton, despite the chemicals and addictive drugs being pumped through his body, still shows a level head and a desire to negotiate.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Review: Farscape S1, E3 - Exodus from Genesis
Farscape S1, E3 - Exodus from Genesis
This scene Moya gets invaded by a swarm of bugs that require heat to reproduce. This is an issue for the crew, as they can only stand certain amounts of heat. This is particularly true for Aeryn, who is cold blooded.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"Don't tell me Moya has hiccups!"- Crichton, after the ship jumps.
"Soldiers earn respect. Strength, tactical menoveurs, fixing the heat." - Zhaan, consoling Crichton.
"Now there is just you and me." -Crichton. "Actually there is just me... And You." Ka D'Argo. This is when they are about to go to war with the invaders.
Joke: Look at things Differently
Farm kids...
When you're from the country you look at things a little differently..........
A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door.
'Is yer Dad home?' the rancher asked.
'No sir, he ain't,' the boy replied. 'He went into town.'
'Well,' said the rancher, 'Is yer Mom here?'
'No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with Dad.'
'How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?'
'He went with Mom and Dad.'
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
'Is there anything I can do fer ya?' the boy asked politely. 'I know where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer Dad.'
'Well,' said the rancher uncomfortably, 'I really wanted to talk to yer Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant.'
The boy considered for a moment. 'You would have to talk to Pa about that', he finally conceded. 'If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard.'
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
Rant: Doc: Stock Market
Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared andannounced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for £10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out tothe forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at £10and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so thevillagers stopped their effort.
The man then announced that he would now pay £20 for each one. Thisrenewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeysagain. But soon the supply diminished even further and they were everharder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgotabout monkey catching. The man increased his price to £25 each and thesupply of monkeys became so scarce that it was an effort to even see amonkey, much less catch one.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for £50! However, sincehe had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buyon his behalf. While the man was away the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at allthese monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell themto you at£35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them tohim for £50 each.'
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
They never saw the man nor his assistant again and once more there weremonkeys everywhere. Perhaps you now you have a better understanding of how the stock marketworks! ________________________________________
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
Rant: Doc: Thoughts
Thoughts From a Wandering Mind
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.
What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?
Someone told me I was gullible and I believed them..
Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help 'groups'?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
Rant: Doc: The Brain
The Brain During Religious Experiences
Because of the work connecting temporal lobe epilepsy and spiritual experiences,
scientists previously believed that the temporal lobe was the only part of the brain
involved in religious feelings. Recent imaging studies, however, have shown that
many parts of the brain are activated during a religious experience.
At the forefront of these imaging studies is Andrew Newberg, a doctor at the
University of Pennsylvania. Newberg used single photon emission computed
tomography, or SPECT, imaging to take pictures of the brain during religious
activity. SPECT provides a picture of blood flow in the brain at a given moment, so
more blood flow indicates more activity.
One of Newberg's studies examined the brains of Tibetan Buddhist monks as they
meditated. The monks indicated to Newberg that they were beginning to enter a
meditative state by pulling on a piece of string. At that moment, Newberg injected
radioactive dye via an intravenous line and imaged the brain. Newberg found
increased activity in the frontal lobe, which deals with concentration; the monks
obviously were concentrating on the activity [source: Vedantam].
Meditating monks
But Newberg also found an immense decrease of activity in the parietal lobe. The
parietal lobe, among other things, orients a person in a three-dimensional space.
This lobe helps you look around to determine that you're 15 feet (4.6 meters) away
from a bathroom, 6 feet (1.8 meters) away from a door and so on. Newberg
hypothesizes that the decreased activity in the brains of the meditating monks
indicates that they lose their ability to differentiate where they end and something
else begins [source: Paulson]. In other words, they become at one with the
universe, a state often described in a moment of transcendence.
And it seems to matter little to whom or what that religious activity is directed
toward, for Newberg found similar brain activity in the brains of praying nuns.
Though the nuns were praying to God, rather than meditating like the monks, they
showed increased activity in the frontal lobe as they began focusing their minds.
There was also a decrease of activity in the parietal lobe, seemingly indicating that
more on religion and the brain
the nuns lost their sense of self in relation to the real world and were able to
achieve communion with God [source: Paulson].
While Newberg's work has been supported by other scientists conducting imaging
studies, some have a problem with the basis of the experiment. Critics of
Newberg's work argue that you can't reduce all religious behaviors to just
meditating or praying [source: PBS]. Religion encompasses more than that. What,
for example, might happen in the brain of someone doing charity work for the poor?
What happens when someone makes a moral choice based on his or her belief
system? Newberg's work as of yet is focused on individual, private experiences, as
opposed to the relationships and experiences that happen between other people
[source: Peters].
--Others are more concerned with the implications of the study. If religion is just an
activation of certain parts of the brain, does that mean God or any higher power is
just in our heads? That's not necessarily what scientists are trying to prove or
disprove. After all, if we are wired to believe in God, then it's not a far leap to
believe that God is the one who wired humans that way.
But is there any advantage to being genetically open to God? Scientists are trying
to discern if there's an evolutionary reason for why our brains are so receptive to
religious experiences. Religion might be a side effect of a developing brain; our
brains needed ways to explain the world around us, so they may have created a
belief system that could serve as kind of default place to turn in the case of
questions. Religion could serve that purpose to early man, with its somewhat
supernatural stories to explain cause-and-effect. But now, religion is an expensive
trait to carry forward; it involves time and sacrifice, such as fasting. And now, there
are scientific methods to explaining the world. Shouldn't religion have died by now?
Atheists may, of course, say yes, but as one anthropologist points out, even some
atheists cross their fingers when a plane experiences turbulence. This may indicate
that our brain will always seek out some sort of transcendental hope or otherworldly
protection, even if it's not called God [source: Henig]. And some evolutionary
biologists argue that there are important individual and collective benefits to a mind
hardwired for religion [source: The Economist]. Individually, people who believe that
someone bigger than themselves is watching them may make better choices in
terms of their evolutionary fitness; they may be less likely to drink or engage in
more on religion and the brain
other dangerous behaviors if they feel something or someone higher than them
may disapprove. But the real benefit may come down to a facet of Darwinism that
doesn't get much attention anymore: survival of entire groups.
One study evaluated the success of various communes in 19th-century America.
The communes with a secular ideology were four times as likely to disband in any
given year [source: The Economist]. But in religious communes, such as modernday
kibbutzim in Israel, those subject to the strongest religious rules have been
shown to be the most altruistic and cooperative of the bunch. In tests that examine
an individual's generosity when the entire group is at stake, those living in these
types of communities of faith are more likely to pool resources, which promotes the
survival of the collective [source: The Economist]. Religion in that sense is a way
for people to work together, to have an interest in an entire group's survival due to
shared beliefs.
Comment by doc
Meditation or prayer is the exact opposite to daydreaming. It is not being lost in
thought, but in seeing those thoughts as things that come and go. Nor does it
necessarily involve sitting or kneeling, it involves paying attention even when
walking. It is being alive to everything.
When prayer or meditation removes the delusion of the self being separate from the
rest of the universe, it shows the truth that science has been trying to tell us, “all
things are inter related”. Try being separated from air for 5 minutes and you will
see.
Further, egocentricity ( in the form of selfishness) produces enormous harm to the
individual and to the whole planet. It is a delusion that we can well afford to
abandon.
B :-) doc
Because of the work connecting temporal lobe epilepsy and spiritual experiences,
scientists previously believed that the temporal lobe was the only part of the brain
involved in religious feelings. Recent imaging studies, however, have shown that
many parts of the brain are activated during a religious experience.
At the forefront of these imaging studies is Andrew Newberg, a doctor at the
University of Pennsylvania. Newberg used single photon emission computed
tomography, or SPECT, imaging to take pictures of the brain during religious
activity. SPECT provides a picture of blood flow in the brain at a given moment, so
more blood flow indicates more activity.
One of Newberg's studies examined the brains of Tibetan Buddhist monks as they
meditated. The monks indicated to Newberg that they were beginning to enter a
meditative state by pulling on a piece of string. At that moment, Newberg injected
radioactive dye via an intravenous line and imaged the brain. Newberg found
increased activity in the frontal lobe, which deals with concentration; the monks
obviously were concentrating on the activity [source: Vedantam].
Meditating monks
But Newberg also found an immense decrease of activity in the parietal lobe. The
parietal lobe, among other things, orients a person in a three-dimensional space.
This lobe helps you look around to determine that you're 15 feet (4.6 meters) away
from a bathroom, 6 feet (1.8 meters) away from a door and so on. Newberg
hypothesizes that the decreased activity in the brains of the meditating monks
indicates that they lose their ability to differentiate where they end and something
else begins [source: Paulson]. In other words, they become at one with the
universe, a state often described in a moment of transcendence.
And it seems to matter little to whom or what that religious activity is directed
toward, for Newberg found similar brain activity in the brains of praying nuns.
Though the nuns were praying to God, rather than meditating like the monks, they
showed increased activity in the frontal lobe as they began focusing their minds.
There was also a decrease of activity in the parietal lobe, seemingly indicating that
more on religion and the brain
the nuns lost their sense of self in relation to the real world and were able to
achieve communion with God [source: Paulson].
While Newberg's work has been supported by other scientists conducting imaging
studies, some have a problem with the basis of the experiment. Critics of
Newberg's work argue that you can't reduce all religious behaviors to just
meditating or praying [source: PBS]. Religion encompasses more than that. What,
for example, might happen in the brain of someone doing charity work for the poor?
What happens when someone makes a moral choice based on his or her belief
system? Newberg's work as of yet is focused on individual, private experiences, as
opposed to the relationships and experiences that happen between other people
[source: Peters].
--Others are more concerned with the implications of the study. If religion is just an
activation of certain parts of the brain, does that mean God or any higher power is
just in our heads? That's not necessarily what scientists are trying to prove or
disprove. After all, if we are wired to believe in God, then it's not a far leap to
believe that God is the one who wired humans that way.
But is there any advantage to being genetically open to God? Scientists are trying
to discern if there's an evolutionary reason for why our brains are so receptive to
religious experiences. Religion might be a side effect of a developing brain; our
brains needed ways to explain the world around us, so they may have created a
belief system that could serve as kind of default place to turn in the case of
questions. Religion could serve that purpose to early man, with its somewhat
supernatural stories to explain cause-and-effect. But now, religion is an expensive
trait to carry forward; it involves time and sacrifice, such as fasting. And now, there
are scientific methods to explaining the world. Shouldn't religion have died by now?
Atheists may, of course, say yes, but as one anthropologist points out, even some
atheists cross their fingers when a plane experiences turbulence. This may indicate
that our brain will always seek out some sort of transcendental hope or otherworldly
protection, even if it's not called God [source: Henig]. And some evolutionary
biologists argue that there are important individual and collective benefits to a mind
hardwired for religion [source: The Economist]. Individually, people who believe that
someone bigger than themselves is watching them may make better choices in
terms of their evolutionary fitness; they may be less likely to drink or engage in
more on religion and the brain
other dangerous behaviors if they feel something or someone higher than them
may disapprove. But the real benefit may come down to a facet of Darwinism that
doesn't get much attention anymore: survival of entire groups.
One study evaluated the success of various communes in 19th-century America.
The communes with a secular ideology were four times as likely to disband in any
given year [source: The Economist]. But in religious communes, such as modernday
kibbutzim in Israel, those subject to the strongest religious rules have been
shown to be the most altruistic and cooperative of the bunch. In tests that examine
an individual's generosity when the entire group is at stake, those living in these
types of communities of faith are more likely to pool resources, which promotes the
survival of the collective [source: The Economist]. Religion in that sense is a way
for people to work together, to have an interest in an entire group's survival due to
shared beliefs.
Comment by doc
Meditation or prayer is the exact opposite to daydreaming. It is not being lost in
thought, but in seeing those thoughts as things that come and go. Nor does it
necessarily involve sitting or kneeling, it involves paying attention even when
walking. It is being alive to everything.
When prayer or meditation removes the delusion of the self being separate from the
rest of the universe, it shows the truth that science has been trying to tell us, “all
things are inter related”. Try being separated from air for 5 minutes and you will
see.
Further, egocentricity ( in the form of selfishness) produces enormous harm to the
individual and to the whole planet. It is a delusion that we can well afford to
abandon.
B :-) doc
Rant: Doc: Religion
It started out as an ordinary day for Saul back in A.D. 36. He wanted to murder
disciples of a man who claimed to be the Messiah, and he was on his way to
Damascus to do so. Then, on the way to Damascus, a light flashed all around Saul.
He fell to the ground and heard a voice that claimed to be Jesus Christ. The voice
told him to continue to the town, a task likely made no easier by the blindness Saul
experienced when he got up. Saul remained blind for three days, until a disciple
named Ananias laid hands upon him. Saul's sight was restored, and he immediately
became baptized. After his experience, Saul became a powerful preacher for
Jesus; today, he's better known as St. Paul.
Paul's story is interesting not just to biblical scholars, but to neuroscientists
as well. Some scientists claim that the account of this conversion, found
in the book of Acts, contains enough evidence to diagnose Paul with temporal lobe
epilepsy. The flash of light, the voices and the fall to the ground are the evidence of
a seizure, according to these neuroscientists, with the blindness a result of the post
ictal state that follows a seizure [source: Brorson, Brewer]. While most doctors
agree that it's impossible to diagnose epilepsy definitively in someone who lived so
long ago, Paul would join some other religious figures reputed to have brain
disorders, including Moses and St. Teresa of Avila [sources: BBC, Begley].
The link between epilepsy and the Lord doesn't end with that list, though. In one
study, researchers examined how certain words affected those with epilepsy
compared to those without. The words were divided into three groups: neutral
words, like "table," erotic words, such as "sex," and religious words, such as "God."
In those without epilepsy, erotic words produced the biggest change in body
chemistry, but in people with epilepsy, religious words created the biggest emotional
effect. Sexual words had a much lower response [source: BBC]. Like the story of
Paul, this study seemed to suggest that the temporal lobe has something to do with
religious feelings.
These examples represent the intersection of science and religion, a field currently
known as neurotheology. The goal of neurotheology is to determine what's
happening in the brain during a religious experience. Obviously, the field can be a
bit controversial; those with deeply spiritual -beliefs about the connection between a
person and his or her maker aren't thrilled about reducing religion to something
happening in the brain. But the work of the scientists does seem to show that
there's some connection with our gray matters and our pray matters. So, is nirvana
religion and the brain
all in our noggin? Are we simply responding to brain firings when we drag ourselves
out of bed on Sunday morning?
Comment by doc:
The fact that certain areas in the brain respond more to religious experience, in no
way proves or disproves the existence of God. It may be that these people are
more attuned to experience God or a spiritual reality, rather than the corse reality
that others create in their noggins. Nor does it detract from the usefulness of
people who experience it. It is hard to detract from the usefulness of Moses who
freed his people from slavery and enunciated a code of ethics and morality, that
lasted thousands of years. It is hard also to deny the goodness of Teresa of Avila,
Francis of Assisi, Mother Theresa of India, or Gandhi, nor the brilliant mind of
Thomas Aquinas, the einstein of his time.
None of us experience reality as it is, all of us rely on our minds to create our own
version of reality. It is the quality of that reality that counts.
Of course Nirvana is in our mind, that is what the Buddha was trying to tell us. We
create our own heaven or hell with our minds. Thomas said the same,”The kingdom
of heaven is inside you and outside you.”
B :-) doc Marvel at that awesome thing, you call your mind.
Rant: Doc: What is Man
What is man?
That tragic comedian whose greed is surpassed only by his ignorance and stupidity,
whose great cerebral cortex sits astride his primitive instinctual brain, like a rider on a
horse he cannot control?
A Quark in an infinite universe, concerned only with his own gluons, blissfully ignorant of
the bigger picture? A gene transmitting machine bound to serve his DNA?
Architect of monumental follies and crumbling edifices, dreamer of ephemeral hopes, lofty
ideas and ideals, that pass him by like wisps of mist, transforming yesterdayʼs hopes into
tomorrowʼs regrets, he stumbles between the two, half mindful of today, beset by thoughts
that flick across his mind like min min lights.
And I am that too.
And yet for all of this, I love him, nay, love him with a passion, my fellow journey man.
B :-) doc
That tragic comedian whose greed is surpassed only by his ignorance and stupidity,
whose great cerebral cortex sits astride his primitive instinctual brain, like a rider on a
horse he cannot control?
A Quark in an infinite universe, concerned only with his own gluons, blissfully ignorant of
the bigger picture? A gene transmitting machine bound to serve his DNA?
Architect of monumental follies and crumbling edifices, dreamer of ephemeral hopes, lofty
ideas and ideals, that pass him by like wisps of mist, transforming yesterdayʼs hopes into
tomorrowʼs regrets, he stumbles between the two, half mindful of today, beset by thoughts
that flick across his mind like min min lights.
And I am that too.
And yet for all of this, I love him, nay, love him with a passion, my fellow journey man.
B :-) doc
Rant: Doc: War
The Anglo-Dutch becomes the first Western major to enter Iraq through a deal with
Baghdad after nearly four decades.
A delegation from Shell arrived in Baghdad on Monday and signed the agreement with
South Oil Co, oil ministry spokesman Assem Jihad told AFP.
The venture, in which the Iraqi government will hold 51 percent and Shell the balance, will
extract gas from oilfields in the southern city of Basra.
While it is expected to be worth around four billion dollars (2.8 billion euros), the exact
commitments by the two parties are yet to be finalised.
Former dictator Saddam Hussein threw out foreign oil companies after he nationalised the
sector in 1972.
Since Saddam's execution in 2006, a number of foreign majors have signed contracts with
the country's northern Kurdish government, but none with the central government until
now.
AW and you thought that the USA went in looking for weapons of mass destruction.?
B :-) doc
Joke: Chimps
Chimps can match up the faces of group members with photos of their behinds. The
ability, researchers say, shows that chimps carry around mental representations with
"whole body" detail of chimps they have encountered.
Primatologists Frans de Waal and Jennifer Pokorny of the Yerkes National Primate
Research Centre at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia, tested how well six adult
chimpanzees could link pictures of various chimpanzee behinds, either male or female,
with photos of individual chimp faces.
They showed a chimp, first, a photo of a chimp's behind, including genitals, then the faces
of two chimps, both of the same sex as that behind. Each of three male and three female
chimps were able to make the correct face-with-behind pairing with a probability
significantly higher than chance.
perhaps we might all upload photos of our butts onto E cards and send them out so that
we can recognize each other when we meet?
B :-) doc
ability, researchers say, shows that chimps carry around mental representations with
"whole body" detail of chimps they have encountered.
Primatologists Frans de Waal and Jennifer Pokorny of the Yerkes National Primate
Research Centre at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia, tested how well six adult
chimpanzees could link pictures of various chimpanzee behinds, either male or female,
with photos of individual chimp faces.
They showed a chimp, first, a photo of a chimp's behind, including genitals, then the faces
of two chimps, both of the same sex as that behind. Each of three male and three female
chimps were able to make the correct face-with-behind pairing with a probability
significantly higher than chance.
perhaps we might all upload photos of our butts onto E cards and send them out so that
we can recognize each other when we meet?
B :-) doc
Rant: Doc: Population
The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that U.S. population will grow from 303 million people
today to 400 million as early as 2040. While many industrialized nations, including Japan
and most of Western Europe, are experiencing population growth slowdowns due to below
replacement birth levels and little immigration, the U.S. is growing so fast that it trails only
India and China in total numbers.
Advocates for U.S. population stabilization, including some environmental organizations
and leaders, fear that this ongoing influx of new arrivals is forcing the nation to exceed its
“carrying capacity,” stressing an already overburdened physical infrastructure. David
Durham of Population-Environment Balance says that Americans who care about the
environment should insist on reducing immigration, to recognize “ecological realities such
as limited potable water, topsoil and infrastructure.” He also cites studies showing that a
permissive U.S. immigration policy drives up fertility rates in the sending countries “which
is the last thing these sending countries need.”
I wonder how long it will take the starry eyed politicians of Qld to realize that population
growth in an area has drawbacks, such as over use of resources like water, congested
roads,increasing pollution, and the inevitable loss of the natural environment.
doc
today to 400 million as early as 2040. While many industrialized nations, including Japan
and most of Western Europe, are experiencing population growth slowdowns due to below
replacement birth levels and little immigration, the U.S. is growing so fast that it trails only
India and China in total numbers.
Advocates for U.S. population stabilization, including some environmental organizations
and leaders, fear that this ongoing influx of new arrivals is forcing the nation to exceed its
“carrying capacity,” stressing an already overburdened physical infrastructure. David
Durham of Population-Environment Balance says that Americans who care about the
environment should insist on reducing immigration, to recognize “ecological realities such
as limited potable water, topsoil and infrastructure.” He also cites studies showing that a
permissive U.S. immigration policy drives up fertility rates in the sending countries “which
is the last thing these sending countries need.”
I wonder how long it will take the starry eyed politicians of Qld to realize that population
growth in an area has drawbacks, such as over use of resources like water, congested
roads,increasing pollution, and the inevitable loss of the natural environment.
doc
Rant: Doc: Good vs Evil
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said: 'My son, the battle is between 'two wolves' inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy,sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy,generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.'
The grandson thought about it for a minute, and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'The old Cherokee simply replied: 'The one you feed.'
Better words of wisdom have not been uttered since.
Rant: Doc: Women and Clothing
I am reminded that the Buddha said not to be caught up in “Form” ( shape).
I would apply this especially to the female form, because the old fellow also said that it was
the most attractive form of all. He was married and had children so he was probably
heterosexual.
The Fundamentalist Muslims, Christian nuns, and earlier Christian generations hid it with
clothing. I think especially of Victorian times, but also my motherʼs generation that forbad
Catholic women to enter churches without head cover.
At the other end of the spectrum there is an American culture of flaunting what you have in
everything from strip bars to advertising and porn sites. Coupled with this is a culture that
falsely believes that only youth is beautiful, neglecting the tranquil beauty that can come
with silver hair and facial lines that reflect a life that has been lived.
From a biological point of view, the female form is necessary to attract a mate, to induce
pregnancy and to form a lasting bond. I see no reason why women should not be pleased
and proud of being endowed with a female shape and I acknowledge their right to do with
it as they see fit.
I would apply this especially to the female form, because the old fellow also said that it was
the most attractive form of all. He was married and had children so he was probably
heterosexual.
The Fundamentalist Muslims, Christian nuns, and earlier Christian generations hid it with
clothing. I think especially of Victorian times, but also my motherʼs generation that forbad
Catholic women to enter churches without head cover.
At the other end of the spectrum there is an American culture of flaunting what you have in
everything from strip bars to advertising and porn sites. Coupled with this is a culture that
falsely believes that only youth is beautiful, neglecting the tranquil beauty that can come
with silver hair and facial lines that reflect a life that has been lived.
From a biological point of view, the female form is necessary to attract a mate, to induce
pregnancy and to form a lasting bond. I see no reason why women should not be pleased
and proud of being endowed with a female shape and I acknowledge their right to do with
it as they see fit.
Joke: Great Aussie Poem
A Bloody Great Aussie Poem, Mate.
The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams.
He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
'Typical bloody sheep,' he thought, 'they've got no common sense,
'They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence.'
The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
She'd stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out.
But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free
And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree.
He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
If he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.
Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.
He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.
He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam
He caught up with her, somewhere near the middle of the dam
The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.
At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath
She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.
She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.
Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.
The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away
He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
But nor was he prepared for what he was about to see.
He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.
And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch
The farmer yelling wildly 'Come back here, you lousy bitch!'
The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car
The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far
So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!
The sun was hot already - it was only 8 o'clock
The cocky took off in his Ute, to go and check his stock.
He drove around the paddocks checking wethers, ewes and lambs,
The float valves in the water troughs, the windmills on the dams.
He stopped and turned a windmill on to fill a water tank
And saw a ewe down in the dam, a few yards from the bank.
'Typical bloody sheep,' he thought, 'they've got no common sense,
'They won't go through a gateway but they'll jump a bloody fence.'
The ewe was stuck down in the mud, he knew without a doubt
She'd stay there 'til she carked it if he didn't get her out.
But when he reached the water's edge, the startled ewe broke free
And in her haste to get away, began a swimming spree.
He reckoned once her fleece was wet, the weight would drag her down
If he didn't rescue her, the stupid sod would drown.
Her style was unimpressive, her survival chances slim
He saw no other option, he would have to take a swim.
He peeled his shirt and singlet off, his trousers, boots and socks
And as he couldn't stand wet clothes, he also shed his jocks.
He jumped into the water and away that cocky swam
He caught up with her, somewhere near the middle of the dam
The ewe was quite evasive, she kept giving him the slip
He tried to grab her sodden fleece but couldn't get a grip.
At last he got her to the bank and stopped to catch his breath
She showed him little gratitude for saving her from death.
She took off like a Bondi tram around the other side
He swore next time he caught that ewe he'd hang her bloody hide.
Then round and round the dam they ran, although he felt quite puffed
He still thought he could run her down, she must be nearly stuffed.
The local stock rep came along, to pay a call that day.
He knew this bloke was on his own, his wife had gone away
He didn't really think he'd get fresh scones for morning tea
But nor was he prepared for what he was about to see.
He rubbed his eyes in disbelief at what came into view
For running down the catchment came this frantic-looking ewe.
And on her heels in hot pursuit and wearing not a stitch
The farmer yelling wildly 'Come back here, you lousy bitch!'
The stock rep didn't hang around, he took off in his car
The cocky's reputation has been damaged near and far
So bear in mind the Work Safe rule when next you check your flocks
Spot the hazard, assess the risk, and always wear your jocks!
Rant: Doc: Randomness
Randomness exists in our world. At the microscopic level, it is all about chance and probability.
But our brains evolved to see patterns, not chance events.
Consider optical illusions.
If you flip a perfect coin and it comes up heads 3 times , do you continue to bet on "heads", or do you switch to "tails"?
It does not matter, the coin has no memory. The chances are still 50/ 50
Casino owners know this, but the players do not.
Extra ordinary events do not need an extraordinary cause.
Embrace the random, find the pattern, know the difference.
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
But our brains evolved to see patterns, not chance events.
Consider optical illusions.
If you flip a perfect coin and it comes up heads 3 times , do you continue to bet on "heads", or do you switch to "tails"?
It does not matter, the coin has no memory. The chances are still 50/ 50
Casino owners know this, but the players do not.
Extra ordinary events do not need an extraordinary cause.
Embrace the random, find the pattern, know the difference.
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
Review: Farscape S1, E2 - I, E.T.
Farscape S1, E2 - I, E.T.
This episode explores the characters personalities more. It shows them fighting, yet it also shows that they have the ability to work together. The ship is forced to land upon a planet covered in bog to muffle a siren. To heal Moya, they must get a certain element called Chlorium, which can be found on this planet. Only problem is, there are aliens there that have not yet discovered aliens - and are very supersticious. In fact, this episodes seriously reminds me of X-Files.
Aeryn and Ka D'Argo learn to cooperate in this episode, fighting their fighting abilities together to reach a level battlefield. Sure they still exchange insult, but they are capable to work together.
Zhaan's ability of sharing pain becomes apparent in this episode, showing just one of her many talents that appear later on in the series.
Crichton becomes hopeful in this scene, as apparent when crash landing he states "It looks like Earth." Later on, you're encourage to think that he may be on earth by being introduced to the local alien population - they appear as humans, sound like humans, act like humans, and even drive and live like humans. It's only half way through the episode that the audience realises that they are not humans. I'll point out, that in this episode, they have to send Rygel through the little trap door since no other can fit. However in later episodes, even Ka D'Argo is quite easily capable of fitting through them.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"I can't stop it, it feels like it's melting my brain. It isn't actually doing something to my brain is it?... I'll say its stopped. Why am I still twitching?" - Crichton, when the siren is blaring.
When Crichton is zapped, he becomes paralyzed. As he tries to move his arm, his hand falls and he is left exposing his middle finger to the audience.
This episode explores the characters personalities more. It shows them fighting, yet it also shows that they have the ability to work together. The ship is forced to land upon a planet covered in bog to muffle a siren. To heal Moya, they must get a certain element called Chlorium, which can be found on this planet. Only problem is, there are aliens there that have not yet discovered aliens - and are very supersticious. In fact, this episodes seriously reminds me of X-Files.
Aeryn and Ka D'Argo learn to cooperate in this episode, fighting their fighting abilities together to reach a level battlefield. Sure they still exchange insult, but they are capable to work together.
Zhaan's ability of sharing pain becomes apparent in this episode, showing just one of her many talents that appear later on in the series.
Crichton becomes hopeful in this scene, as apparent when crash landing he states "It looks like Earth." Later on, you're encourage to think that he may be on earth by being introduced to the local alien population - they appear as humans, sound like humans, act like humans, and even drive and live like humans. It's only half way through the episode that the audience realises that they are not humans. I'll point out, that in this episode, they have to send Rygel through the little trap door since no other can fit. However in later episodes, even Ka D'Argo is quite easily capable of fitting through them.
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"I can't stop it, it feels like it's melting my brain. It isn't actually doing something to my brain is it?... I'll say its stopped. Why am I still twitching?" - Crichton, when the siren is blaring.
When Crichton is zapped, he becomes paralyzed. As he tries to move his arm, his hand falls and he is left exposing his middle finger to the audience.
Review: Farscape S1, E1 - Premiere
Farscape S1, E1 - Premiere
This very first episode of the series introduces the main characters, as well as show a very shallow view of their personalities. The main character, Commander John Crichton begins the show discussing with his father how he is nervous to go out on his experimental trial. The very trial which sends him through a black hole and into another place (at this stage whether its future, different universe, or so very far from Earth it is unknown). His nervousness, he describes basically as an upset stomache, which to him only ever occurs before something seriously large happens, such as "the night before graduating high school". Although appearing to make small talk, this statement reappears at the end of the episode as a sign that there is larger and more important things that will happen than just meeting his fellow alien crew.It should be noted that before he leaves his father gives him a ring/puzzle, and tells him that there will be a time for him to be a hero and he will be able to stand up to the challenge. This is true later on in the episodes. The very ring puzzle itself is used as a means of escape, which could easily suggest that he is a man more of thoughts and words than of action. He is, essentially, a man of science and democracy. This becomes very evident with later scenes, when he often prefers to take a diplomatic approache with aliens rather than a straight out fight - something of which his fellow crew prefers to do.It should also be noted that by pure accident Crais's younger brother is in a flight accident with Crichton, which results in his death. Because of this, Crais vows revenge, and spends much time tracking down Moya's crew, even against superiors orders.
Characters
John Crichton (Ben Browder)
Aeryn Sun (Claudia Black)
Ka D'Argo (Anthony Simcoe)
Rygel XVI (voiced by Jonathan Hardy)
Moya (The Ship)
Pilot (voiced by Lani John Tupu)
Zhaan (Virginia Hey)Crais (Lani John Tupu)
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"Stay back! or I'll fill you with... little yellow balls of light." - Crichton, when using an alien weapon to barter for freedom.
This very first episode of the series introduces the main characters, as well as show a very shallow view of their personalities. The main character, Commander John Crichton begins the show discussing with his father how he is nervous to go out on his experimental trial. The very trial which sends him through a black hole and into another place (at this stage whether its future, different universe, or so very far from Earth it is unknown). His nervousness, he describes basically as an upset stomache, which to him only ever occurs before something seriously large happens, such as "the night before graduating high school". Although appearing to make small talk, this statement reappears at the end of the episode as a sign that there is larger and more important things that will happen than just meeting his fellow alien crew.It should be noted that before he leaves his father gives him a ring/puzzle, and tells him that there will be a time for him to be a hero and he will be able to stand up to the challenge. This is true later on in the episodes. The very ring puzzle itself is used as a means of escape, which could easily suggest that he is a man more of thoughts and words than of action. He is, essentially, a man of science and democracy. This becomes very evident with later scenes, when he often prefers to take a diplomatic approache with aliens rather than a straight out fight - something of which his fellow crew prefers to do.It should also be noted that by pure accident Crais's younger brother is in a flight accident with Crichton, which results in his death. Because of this, Crais vows revenge, and spends much time tracking down Moya's crew, even against superiors orders.
Characters
John Crichton (Ben Browder)
Aeryn Sun (Claudia Black)
Ka D'Argo (Anthony Simcoe)
Rygel XVI (voiced by Jonathan Hardy)
Moya (The Ship)
Pilot (voiced by Lani John Tupu)
Zhaan (Virginia Hey)Crais (Lani John Tupu)
Favourite Scenes and Phrases:
"Stay back! or I'll fill you with... little yellow balls of light." - Crichton, when using an alien weapon to barter for freedom.
Rant: Doc: Trust
Trust is very important to me.
With a few exceptions, I have always trusted people to tell me lies, half truths, their version of reality, or what they want me to believe.
I cannot recall many instances of that trust being broken.
Further, since I do not regard what I hear as gospel, I have no problem in not passing it on.
With a few exceptions, I have always trusted people to tell me lies, half truths, their version of reality, or what they want me to believe.
I cannot recall many instances of that trust being broken.
Further, since I do not regard what I hear as gospel, I have no problem in not passing it on.
Rant: Doc: Evolution
In Europe there is a little creamy coloured moth which camouflaged itself on the bark of a
certain tree. As pollution occurred, the bark of the trees became more grey. Mutant moths
arose whose colour was also grey. They prospered on the grey tree bark, being less
obvious to predators. Today there are mostly grey moths and very few creamy ones.
In order for evolution to occur two things are necessary.
1/ a genetic mutation must occur.
2/ environmental conditions must alter.
( even when I bred white budgies, I also changed environmental conditions by caging
them and keeping predators out.}
As true scientists, we should be welcoming climate change, running around yelling
“Eureka, it is happening, we can now see evolution at work!”, with big smiles on our faces.
It does not matter, if glaciers melt and bloody humanity perishes.
What matters is that we are witnessing the changes that can allow evolution to occur.
Even if we donʼt survive to see it, planet earth is setting the stage for the next act in the
great drama of evolution.
I waste no energy mourning the extinction of the dinosaurs.
Why would we be upset at the passing of homo sapiens?
B :-) doc
Rant: Doc: God-like
I have revised my opinion about mankind, (homo sapiens)
I now consider him to be god like, made in the image of god.
If it is true that we are witnessing climate change, and if it is true also that humanity has contributed to it, then man has become a co creator with nature. Indeed like God
Not only is he forcing the next stage in evolution, but he is engineering his own demise at the same time.
How clever is that?
Amazing
Rant: Doc
I was thinking about the movie in which plants emitted a substance into the air causing humans to suicide.
[this movie is The Happening]
Strangely enough, it is based on fact.
If a tree is stressed either by parasites or adverse climate, it emits the chemical, methyl salicylate, the active ingredient in liniment and Dencorub, a cousin to aspirin. This is carried by the wind to nearby trees, which increase their content of toxic substances to deter parasites, or take other protective measures like draining sap to their roots.Trees communicate by chemicals like bacteria do. Further, if we humans denude the planet of trees, are we not committing suicide?
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
[this movie is The Happening]
Strangely enough, it is based on fact.
If a tree is stressed either by parasites or adverse climate, it emits the chemical, methyl salicylate, the active ingredient in liniment and Dencorub, a cousin to aspirin. This is carried by the wind to nearby trees, which increase their content of toxic substances to deter parasites, or take other protective measures like draining sap to their roots.Trees communicate by chemicals like bacteria do. Further, if we humans denude the planet of trees, are we not committing suicide?
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
Rant: Xmas Political Correctness
putting the blood of christ back in political bloody correctness
it is with heavy heart, i utter to thee
so many decorations...yet the cost of one tree
far exceeds the 364 days of pain
rivalled by the sickly crunch of a crazy clarks candy cane
but quality is the best, do not surrender to any less
or dear friend, u may find urself in a sticky mess
when in fear, do not sit and weep
for if ye look, u shall reap
a 32 hour continuous shopping spree
the very humble Westfield Chermside the key
and if that is not enough, for ur materialistic laden heart
K-mart is open till 6 , and will allow a quick dart
into the store, and down the aisles
for the dedicated wud walk 5 thousand miles
and if that is not enough, a card is always there
to convey hallmark sentiments, and insinuate that u really care
it is the thought that counts, you utter
as your old dumpy aunt with warts starts to splutter...
''i noticed u needed some new socks"
i praise the heavens , and thank God we changed the locks
the day finally arriving, everyone gets out the glue and pastes on the smile
but do not let materialism and poliitcal correctness beguile
the true meaning of christmas, if there is such tangible thing
not summed up within in a corney jing
if all the food and presents were there,
yet company was not, and did not dare share
pulling a bon-bon by yourself
is surely not overly brilliant for your health
too much food, too little time
that is ok, for with but a few dime
Jenny Craig will come to the rescue,
just join the queue
its almost as big as the one at the ham shop
those lucky pigs, and no, im not talking about the cop
having to work on christmas day
just so no riots break out about the unfairness or display
of religious favouritism
it is with heavy heart, i utter to thee
so many decorations...yet the cost of one tree
far exceeds the 364 days of pain
rivalled by the sickly crunch of a crazy clarks candy cane
but quality is the best, do not surrender to any less
or dear friend, u may find urself in a sticky mess
when in fear, do not sit and weep
for if ye look, u shall reap
a 32 hour continuous shopping spree
the very humble Westfield Chermside the key
and if that is not enough, for ur materialistic laden heart
K-mart is open till 6 , and will allow a quick dart
into the store, and down the aisles
for the dedicated wud walk 5 thousand miles
and if that is not enough, a card is always there
to convey hallmark sentiments, and insinuate that u really care
it is the thought that counts, you utter
as your old dumpy aunt with warts starts to splutter...
''i noticed u needed some new socks"
i praise the heavens , and thank God we changed the locks
the day finally arriving, everyone gets out the glue and pastes on the smile
but do not let materialism and poliitcal correctness beguile
the true meaning of christmas, if there is such tangible thing
not summed up within in a corney jing
if all the food and presents were there,
yet company was not, and did not dare share
pulling a bon-bon by yourself
is surely not overly brilliant for your health
too much food, too little time
that is ok, for with but a few dime
Jenny Craig will come to the rescue,
just join the queue
its almost as big as the one at the ham shop
those lucky pigs, and no, im not talking about the cop
having to work on christmas day
just so no riots break out about the unfairness or display
of religious favouritism
Joke: The Lobster
Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and passionately in Love.
For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Douglas in tears. We can't see each other any more ..." she sobbed.
"Why ?" gasped Douglas .
"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed. "He claims you are a mere crab; a poor one at that and crabs are the lowest class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can only walk sideways."
Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sideways into the darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.
That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Douglas the crab strode in. The Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose from his throne.
Slowly, painstakingly, Douglas the crab made his way across the floor .....and all could see that he was walking, not sideways .... but FORWARDS... Yes FORWARDS ! One claw after another !!! Step by step he made his approach towards the throne, until he looked the King lobster in the eye.
There was a deadly hush ..........
Finally, Douglas spoke ..........
"F*#k, I'm pissed."
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTE: Please consider our environment before printing
B :-) d0c
Rant: Where Lies the Blame
They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English.
I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads.
You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.
People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now
we've got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting.
They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what?
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father?
Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward,
pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??
We are not Africans.
Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .
I say this all of the time.
It would be like white people saying they are European-American.
That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents.
I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands .
The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa .
So stop, already! ! !
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap
.....and all of them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed.
Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.
We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.
'We cannot blame the white people any longer.'
Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.
I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.
And then I heard the father talk.
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads.
You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.
People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an Education, and now
we've got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.
These people are not parenting.
They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what?
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.
I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.
Where were you when he was 2?
Where were you when he was 12?
Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol?
And where is the father?
Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward:
Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?
People with their hats on backward,
pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?
Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?
What part of Africa did this come from??
We are not Africans.
Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa .
I say this all of the time.
It would be like white people saying they are European-American.
That is totally stupid.
I was born here, and so were my parents and grand parents and, very likely my great grandparents.
I don't have any connection to Africa, no more than white Americans have to Germany , Scotland , England , Ireland , or the Netherlands .
The same applies to 99 percent of all the black Americans as regards to Africa .
So stop, already! ! !
With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap
.....and all of them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.
We have got to take the neighborhood back.
People used to be ashamed.
Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.
We have millionaire football players who cannot read.
We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.
We, as black folks have to do a better job.
Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.
We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.
'We cannot blame the white people any longer.'
Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.
Rant: Doc: Voice
There once was a child born with a form of Cerebral Palsy that produced extreme
clumsiness, and some blunting of his intellect.
Unfortunately, he was born into a large family whose parents made a hobby of collecting
antiques.
He would knock over vases which the parents valued as heirlooms to be passed on , spill
his drink on the carpet, even fall onto and destroy projects that the other children were
constructing. In the garden, he knocked over plants and fell onto emerging seedlings.
Tensions between the siblings arose as a matter of course and the parents became
exasperated with his behavior. There was a deal of argument and strife in the family.
One day, his father seized him roughly and was about to strike him.
Suddenly one of his brothers yelled out. “ Father forgive him, he doesnʼt know what he is
doing. All he wants is our love and acceptance.”
Gaia has millions of children. A great percentage of them are mental cripples, in that they
destroy and kill, even each other. But, like it or not, they are our siblings.
Is there a second voice who can truly say, ”Father, I forgive them......”?
If so that voice comes from one who is free of illusion, and has forgiven them self.
B :-) and most of all, be free.
doc
clumsiness, and some blunting of his intellect.
Unfortunately, he was born into a large family whose parents made a hobby of collecting
antiques.
He would knock over vases which the parents valued as heirlooms to be passed on , spill
his drink on the carpet, even fall onto and destroy projects that the other children were
constructing. In the garden, he knocked over plants and fell onto emerging seedlings.
Tensions between the siblings arose as a matter of course and the parents became
exasperated with his behavior. There was a deal of argument and strife in the family.
One day, his father seized him roughly and was about to strike him.
Suddenly one of his brothers yelled out. “ Father forgive him, he doesnʼt know what he is
doing. All he wants is our love and acceptance.”
Gaia has millions of children. A great percentage of them are mental cripples, in that they
destroy and kill, even each other. But, like it or not, they are our siblings.
Is there a second voice who can truly say, ”Father, I forgive them......”?
If so that voice comes from one who is free of illusion, and has forgiven them self.
B :-) and most of all, be free.
doc
Rant: Doc: Hypocripsy
We tend to ignore the statements of those that we see as hypocrites.
A smoker says”smoking is bad for you”. We ignore him.
But who knows better the ill effects of smoking than the smoker?
Al Gore says that we must reduce our carbon footprints, but he flies around in a jet.
We ignore him, without considering that because he is trapped in the American way of
large cars and jet planes, he might be the very one who knows that it is wrong.
And hidden from us is the fact that he spends his money buying carbon offsets.
It is the old story that if you can discredit the speaker, you can ignore his words.
We ignore them at our peril, since a hypocrite may be speaking the truth.
B :-) doc
A smoker says”smoking is bad for you”. We ignore him.
But who knows better the ill effects of smoking than the smoker?
Al Gore says that we must reduce our carbon footprints, but he flies around in a jet.
We ignore him, without considering that because he is trapped in the American way of
large cars and jet planes, he might be the very one who knows that it is wrong.
And hidden from us is the fact that he spends his money buying carbon offsets.
It is the old story that if you can discredit the speaker, you can ignore his words.
We ignore them at our peril, since a hypocrite may be speaking the truth.
B :-) doc
Rant: Silly Words
ABORIGINAL LANDS AMENDMENT. BILL 39 OF 2005
TASMANIA
5. Section 3A inserted
After section 3 of the Principal Act, the
following section is inserted in Part 1:
3A. Aboriginal person
(1) An Aboriginal person is a person who
satisfies all of the following
requirements:
(a) Aboriginal ancestry;
(b) self-identification as an
Aboriginal person;
(c) communal recognition by
members of the Aboriginal
community.
(2) The onus of proving that a person
satisfies the requirements referred to in
subsection (1) lies on that person.
"The modern Commonwealth definition of an Aboriginal person is
An Aboriginal person is defined as a person who:
* is a descendant of an Indigenous inhabitant of Australia,
* identifies as an Aboriginal,
* and is recognised as Aboriginal by members of the community in which she or he
lives.
If I three quarter fill my glass with Scotch Whiskey, and then top it up with a little iced
water, may I now say that I have a glass of water?
I put petrol with 10% ethanol in my car. May I now say that my tank is full of alcohol?
or that my car runs on alcohol?
My original ancestor was a single celled organism. Perhaps I might call myself a bacteria
or an amoeba.
I identify myself as part of the ecological life on this plant. Does that make me an
ecologist?
When I had a dog, he recognized me as pack leader. I guess that makes me a dog? I like
that. Dogs are rarely involved in the stupidity that characterizes humans.
As you can tell, I dislike divisive terminology and idiocy.
I also am aware that previous generations of European settlers in Australia had a policy of
genocide towards the people living here which included the extermination of full Aborigines
and the dilution of their gene pool with European genes.
It would appear that they were mostly successful in their evil task, while using subtle word
definitions to hide what they did.
People can be proud of their heritage, especially of the fact that these ancestors lived in
harmony with the land. But it is silly to use a term that makes no sense.
Why canʼt we all just be Australians, respecting our individual differences.?
It is the subtle blending of flavors that make a culinary dish a work of art.
doc
TASMANIA
5. Section 3A inserted
After section 3 of the Principal Act, the
following section is inserted in Part 1:
3A. Aboriginal person
(1) An Aboriginal person is a person who
satisfies all of the following
requirements:
(a) Aboriginal ancestry;
(b) self-identification as an
Aboriginal person;
(c) communal recognition by
members of the Aboriginal
community.
(2) The onus of proving that a person
satisfies the requirements referred to in
subsection (1) lies on that person.
"The modern Commonwealth definition of an Aboriginal person is
An Aboriginal person is defined as a person who:
* is a descendant of an Indigenous inhabitant of Australia,
* identifies as an Aboriginal,
* and is recognised as Aboriginal by members of the community in which she or he
lives.
If I three quarter fill my glass with Scotch Whiskey, and then top it up with a little iced
water, may I now say that I have a glass of water?
I put petrol with 10% ethanol in my car. May I now say that my tank is full of alcohol?
or that my car runs on alcohol?
My original ancestor was a single celled organism. Perhaps I might call myself a bacteria
or an amoeba.
I identify myself as part of the ecological life on this plant. Does that make me an
ecologist?
When I had a dog, he recognized me as pack leader. I guess that makes me a dog? I like
that. Dogs are rarely involved in the stupidity that characterizes humans.
As you can tell, I dislike divisive terminology and idiocy.
I also am aware that previous generations of European settlers in Australia had a policy of
genocide towards the people living here which included the extermination of full Aborigines
and the dilution of their gene pool with European genes.
It would appear that they were mostly successful in their evil task, while using subtle word
definitions to hide what they did.
People can be proud of their heritage, especially of the fact that these ancestors lived in
harmony with the land. But it is silly to use a term that makes no sense.
Why canʼt we all just be Australians, respecting our individual differences.?
It is the subtle blending of flavors that make a culinary dish a work of art.
doc
Friday, December 12, 2008
Quote
To experience love, we must go inside. When you experience real love you get into a state which is beyond words. You are filled with a joy that goes beyond all emotions. True love is the love of the inner Self. - Swami Muktananda
To seek love outside one's self is to walk a path to disappointment. But having found the source one does not wallow in it. One returns with the precious gift and shares it with all that one meets.
For just as you lose nothing by sharing an idea, you increase love by giving it to others
doc
Love others as you love yourself
The Christ
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
To seek love outside one's self is to walk a path to disappointment. But having found the source one does not wallow in it. One returns with the precious gift and shares it with all that one meets.
For just as you lose nothing by sharing an idea, you increase love by giving it to others
doc
Love others as you love yourself
The Christ
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
Quotes
All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others. - Cyril Connolly
I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience. - Shelley Winters
Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
Joke: Doc: Sound
If a stealth bomber crashed in the forest and no one was there, would there still be a sound? Ralph Skinner
B :-) d0c
B :-) d0c
Rant: Doc: Why we have to go with renewable energy.
Why we have to go with renewable energy.
Example A: Bacteria in a Petri dish
Bacteria in a Petri dish will grow exponentially until they run out of resources, at which point their population will crash. Only one generation prior to the crash, the bacteria will have used up half the resources available to them. To the bacteria, there will be no hint of a problem until they starve to death.
But humans are smarter than bacteria, right?
You would think so, but the facts seem to indicate otherwise. The first commercial oil well was drilled in 1859. At that time, the worldʼs population was about 1.5 billion. Less than 150 years later, our population has exploded to 6.4 billion. In that time, we have used up about half the worldʼs recoverable oil. Of the half thatʼs left, most will be very expensive to extract. If the experts are correct, we are less than one generation away from a crash. Yet to most of us, there appears to be no hint of a problem. One generation away from our demise, we are as clueless as bacteria in a Petri dish.
Example B: Reindeer on St. Matthew Island
In 1944, researchers moved a population of 29 reindeer to St. Matthew Island, an unoccupied island in the Bering Sea. Luckily for the reindeer, the island had an abundant supply of their favorite food: lichen. With food readily available, the reindeer population exploded to 6,000 by 1963. At that point, reindeer were everywhere to be seen on the island. By 1966, however, the only things to be seen on the island were reindeer skeletons. In those three years, the reindeer had consumed all of the islandʼs lichen. As a result, the reindeer population crashed to a total of 42.
Example C: Easter Island
According to archeologists, Easter Island was first colonized by Polynesians sometime around the year 500 AD, Over the next 1,000 years, the islandʼs population grew to anywhere from
7,000-20,000 depending on whoʼs making the estimate. During this population boom, the islanders used wood from the forest trees to power virtually every aspect of a highly complex society. Professor Diamond writes,
“The people used the land for gardens and the wood for fuel, canoes, and houses-and, of course, for lugging statues."
Eventually, the islanders began cutting the trees down faster than the trees could grow back. Amazingly, there is evidence that the islanders actually intensified their statue building efforts as the supply of timber dwindled. This has led archaeologists to conclude that the islanders never bothered to figure out how much timber they had in “reserve.” Of course, another possibility is that whoever the islanders selected to figure out how much timber they had in “reserve” was either lying or incompetent.
In either case, the supply of timber went into terminal decline
the islanders ran out of timber and rope to transport and erect their statues. Life became more
uncomfortable: springs and streams dried up, and wood was no longer available for fires
. . . chaos replaced centralized government and a warrior class took over from the hereditary chiefs
. . . People took to living in caves for protection against their enemies.
The chaos became so widespread the island is still littered with the remnants of weapons used by the islanders. Food became so scarce the islanders resorted to cannibalism.
Like the islanders, we have built our entire civilization around one resource, OIL and Fossil Fuels. Our entire culture and psychology revolves around the distribution and consumption of that resource. That resource drives our transportation, housing, and food and water distribution networks. We have no true alternatives to that resource.
Food? Yes energy is needed to produce, harvest and transport food.
The Economic recession is not the really major problem. It is a red herring. The real problem is that our dependence on fossil fuels will lead to the demise of civilization as we know it, unless governments act now.
It does not worry me. I am on the way out.
But what of future generations?
doc
Example A: Bacteria in a Petri dish
Bacteria in a Petri dish will grow exponentially until they run out of resources, at which point their population will crash. Only one generation prior to the crash, the bacteria will have used up half the resources available to them. To the bacteria, there will be no hint of a problem until they starve to death.
But humans are smarter than bacteria, right?
You would think so, but the facts seem to indicate otherwise. The first commercial oil well was drilled in 1859. At that time, the worldʼs population was about 1.5 billion. Less than 150 years later, our population has exploded to 6.4 billion. In that time, we have used up about half the worldʼs recoverable oil. Of the half thatʼs left, most will be very expensive to extract. If the experts are correct, we are less than one generation away from a crash. Yet to most of us, there appears to be no hint of a problem. One generation away from our demise, we are as clueless as bacteria in a Petri dish.
Example B: Reindeer on St. Matthew Island
In 1944, researchers moved a population of 29 reindeer to St. Matthew Island, an unoccupied island in the Bering Sea. Luckily for the reindeer, the island had an abundant supply of their favorite food: lichen. With food readily available, the reindeer population exploded to 6,000 by 1963. At that point, reindeer were everywhere to be seen on the island. By 1966, however, the only things to be seen on the island were reindeer skeletons. In those three years, the reindeer had consumed all of the islandʼs lichen. As a result, the reindeer population crashed to a total of 42.
Example C: Easter Island
According to archeologists, Easter Island was first colonized by Polynesians sometime around the year 500 AD, Over the next 1,000 years, the islandʼs population grew to anywhere from
7,000-20,000 depending on whoʼs making the estimate. During this population boom, the islanders used wood from the forest trees to power virtually every aspect of a highly complex society. Professor Diamond writes,
“The people used the land for gardens and the wood for fuel, canoes, and houses-and, of course, for lugging statues."
Eventually, the islanders began cutting the trees down faster than the trees could grow back. Amazingly, there is evidence that the islanders actually intensified their statue building efforts as the supply of timber dwindled. This has led archaeologists to conclude that the islanders never bothered to figure out how much timber they had in “reserve.” Of course, another possibility is that whoever the islanders selected to figure out how much timber they had in “reserve” was either lying or incompetent.
In either case, the supply of timber went into terminal decline
the islanders ran out of timber and rope to transport and erect their statues. Life became more
uncomfortable: springs and streams dried up, and wood was no longer available for fires
. . . chaos replaced centralized government and a warrior class took over from the hereditary chiefs
. . . People took to living in caves for protection against their enemies.
The chaos became so widespread the island is still littered with the remnants of weapons used by the islanders. Food became so scarce the islanders resorted to cannibalism.
Like the islanders, we have built our entire civilization around one resource, OIL and Fossil Fuels. Our entire culture and psychology revolves around the distribution and consumption of that resource. That resource drives our transportation, housing, and food and water distribution networks. We have no true alternatives to that resource.
Food? Yes energy is needed to produce, harvest and transport food.
The Economic recession is not the really major problem. It is a red herring. The real problem is that our dependence on fossil fuels will lead to the demise of civilization as we know it, unless governments act now.
It does not worry me. I am on the way out.
But what of future generations?
doc
Joke: Fair Bloody Dinkum!!!!!!!
We live in the Land Down Under!! Thank God we have a sense of humour or are we just sarcastic?These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.
__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Harvey Bay ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?__________________________________________________
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe ..Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not .... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ..oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?__________________________________________________
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?(Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather...
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
__________________________________________________
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Joke: English Signs from Around the World
English Signs from Around the World
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel's rules and re gulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel's rules and re gulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel, Yugoslavia:
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. A laundry in Rome: LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME
Review/Rant: Three.com.au - 3 (Three) Mobile Company Australia
I guess this can be classified as a follow up on the review I made on November 26, 2008.
As a short flash back, I rang up in order to get Planet 3 on my mobile I was then told that it didn't exist (roll on floor laughing) by the companies own technical support. I also had the issue of requiring some form of password to access my account details.
Today, I recieved an email from them. Two emails, in fact. This is 13 days since I contacted them!
Dear Kathleen,
Thank you for your email regarding My3. We apologise for the delay in responding to your query.
To get your Account PIN please call 3Care on 13 33 20, they will verify you using some authentication questions such as the answer to your secret question.
If we can assist you further, please contact us again via email or call 3 Care on 13 33 20.
When replying to this email, please ensure you include your 3 mobile number and four-digit account PIN.
Regards
X (name has been replaced)
3 Care www.three.com.au
It's good to be 3
I will point out that these emails are confidential, and providing these details to anyone else may be considered unlawful. Well, seeing as there is no personal, incriminating, etc. I don't see any reason why it cannot be posted. Besides, this is my personal online diary.
Dear Kathleen,
Thank you for your email regarding youhr Account enquiry, We apologise for the delay in responding to your enquiry.
Due to differing technical features and configuration details, third party devices may not be completely compatible with our network.
If we can assist you further, please contact us again via email or call 3 Care on 13 33 20.
When replying to this email, please ensure you include your 3 mobile number and four-digit account PIN.
Regards
X (name has been replaced)
3 Care www.three.com.au
It's good to be 3
Well, considering the belated reply, I am going to say that "Its NOT good to be 3".
As a short flash back, I rang up in order to get Planet 3 on my mobile I was then told that it didn't exist (roll on floor laughing) by the companies own technical support. I also had the issue of requiring some form of password to access my account details.
Today, I recieved an email from them. Two emails, in fact. This is 13 days since I contacted them!
Dear Kathleen,
Thank you for your email regarding My3. We apologise for the delay in responding to your query.
To get your Account PIN please call 3Care on 13 33 20, they will verify you using some authentication questions such as the answer to your secret question.
If we can assist you further, please contact us again via email or call 3 Care on 13 33 20.
When replying to this email, please ensure you include your 3 mobile number and four-digit account PIN.
Regards
X (name has been replaced)
3 Care www.three.com.au
It's good to be 3
I will point out that these emails are confidential, and providing these details to anyone else may be considered unlawful. Well, seeing as there is no personal, incriminating, etc. I don't see any reason why it cannot be posted. Besides, this is my personal online diary.
Dear Kathleen,
Thank you for your email regarding youhr Account enquiry, We apologise for the delay in responding to your enquiry.
Due to differing technical features and configuration details, third party devices may not be completely compatible with our network.
If we can assist you further, please contact us again via email or call 3 Care on 13 33 20.
When replying to this email, please ensure you include your 3 mobile number and four-digit account PIN.
Regards
X (name has been replaced)
3 Care www.three.com.au
It's good to be 3
Well, considering the belated reply, I am going to say that "Its NOT good to be 3".
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Joke: Ocean Levels
A pragmatic politician's answer to rising ocean levels.
Just grow more sponges in it.
Just grow more sponges in it.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Word Lengths of Stories
Novela Young Adult
- 20 – 30 thousand words
Young Adult
- 60 thousands words
Fantasy Young Adult
- Up to 90 thousand words
Adult Fantasy
- 120 to 350 thousand words
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Acts all Summed Up
Acts all Summed up
Importance of Introductions
Hook – if its not there and the reader will not read it.
Who – main character(s)
What – is the problem/mission/quest
Complications
Reversals
Climax
Who lives and dies
Resolution
Questions need to be answered, tie up loose ends
Importance of Introductions
Hook – if its not there and the reader will not read it.
Who – main character(s)
What – is the problem/mission/quest
Complications
Reversals
Climax
Who lives and dies
Resolution
Questions need to be answered, tie up loose ends
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Character Creation
Character Creation
A good way to create your character is to know your character inside out. Try creating a mind map!
1. Occupation
2. Name
3. Gender
4. Gifts and abilities
5. Family and friends
6. Enemies and allies
7. Belief system OR cause
8. Transport
9. Education
10. SPECIAL
Have different characters starting with different letters, unless different genders
o Harry and Herminoe (good)
o Hamlet and Horation (bad)
Sometimes it helps to draw your characters
1. Speech - You need to be able to tell who is speaking without a so-so says
a. Belief system
b. Personality
c. Gender
d. Education
2. Appearance
a. How they look (how is it maintained)
b. What they wear
3. Gestures and actions
a. Show personality
4. Reactions (by other characters)
a. I.e. everyone walks out of room when one person enters
5. Thoughts
6. Both thought and direct statement
A good way to create your character is to know your character inside out. Try creating a mind map!
1. Occupation
2. Name
3. Gender
4. Gifts and abilities
5. Family and friends
6. Enemies and allies
7. Belief system OR cause
8. Transport
9. Education
10. SPECIAL
Have different characters starting with different letters, unless different genders
o Harry and Herminoe (good)
o Hamlet and Horation (bad)
Sometimes it helps to draw your characters
1. Speech - You need to be able to tell who is speaking without a so-so says
a. Belief system
b. Personality
c. Gender
d. Education
2. Appearance
a. How they look (how is it maintained)
b. What they wear
3. Gestures and actions
a. Show personality
4. Reactions (by other characters)
a. I.e. everyone walks out of room when one person enters
5. Thoughts
6. Both thought and direct statement
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Steps to creating a short yet interesting scene
Steps to creating a short yet interesting scene
1. Weather (place them)
2. A sound
3. An object
4. Weather – now?
5. An article of clothing/accessory
6. The same sound
7. The object – a mood/emotion
8. Article of clothing – action
9. One physical trait of a character
10. Dialogue: question/statement (unexpected)
Example of Using These Steps
1. The cold rain pelted on the ground as she ran into the building, and looked around for her mother.
2. High heels clicked on the slippery marble floor, almost drown out by the patter of rain outside.
3. Her mother sat behind the desk.
4. The sound of rain ceased as she silently stared at her.
5. She gripped her locket in silent resolution – she was finally going to meet her mother.
6. The hall suddenly became quiet, and lonely.
7. Her mother was always too busy for her, sitting behind that desk.
8. She let go of the locket – it was all going to change.
9. As she got closer she noticed they had the same curly red hair.
10. Her mother looked up at her, “And who are you?”
1. Weather (place them)
2. A sound
3. An object
4. Weather – now?
5. An article of clothing/accessory
6. The same sound
7. The object – a mood/emotion
8. Article of clothing – action
9. One physical trait of a character
10. Dialogue: question/statement (unexpected)
Example of Using These Steps
1. The cold rain pelted on the ground as she ran into the building, and looked around for her mother.
2. High heels clicked on the slippery marble floor, almost drown out by the patter of rain outside.
3. Her mother sat behind the desk.
4. The sound of rain ceased as she silently stared at her.
5. She gripped her locket in silent resolution – she was finally going to meet her mother.
6. The hall suddenly became quiet, and lonely.
7. Her mother was always too busy for her, sitting behind that desk.
8. She let go of the locket – it was all going to change.
9. As she got closer she noticed they had the same curly red hair.
10. Her mother looked up at her, “And who are you?”
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Writing Pointers
Writing Pointers
Opening
Don’t add anything to any of the sentences not asked for.
Keep it short, simple and clear
There should be a variety of sentences length
Plan action scenes (try them out yourself) – this helps realism
Foreshadow twists and conflicts (and final resolutions) – helps to get rid of clichés.
Opening
Don’t add anything to any of the sentences not asked for.
Keep it short, simple and clear
There should be a variety of sentences length
Plan action scenes (try them out yourself) – this helps realism
Foreshadow twists and conflicts (and final resolutions) – helps to get rid of clichés.
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Use Descriptions
Use descriptions in your stories, it really helps to enhance the scenes. How do you get these descriptions?
Descriptions Uses and Example Words
Sight
o Light
o Shadow
o Colour
o Weather
o Positioning of character
Taste
o Butter
o Sour
o Sweet
o Salty
o Dry
o Rotten
o Vile
o burnt
Touch
o Grated
o Rough
o Smooth
o Sulky
o Hot
o Cold
o Velvety
o Stab
o coarse
Smell
o Musty
o Metallic
o Stale
o Dank
o Putrid
o Sweet
o Fruity
Sound
o Clattering
o Banging
o Thumping
o Retching
o Crying
o Musical
Descriptions Uses and Example Words
Sight
o Light
o Shadow
o Colour
o Weather
o Positioning of character
Taste
o Butter
o Sour
o Sweet
o Salty
o Dry
o Rotten
o Vile
o burnt
Touch
o Grated
o Rough
o Smooth
o Sulky
o Hot
o Cold
o Velvety
o Stab
o coarse
Smell
o Musty
o Metallic
o Stale
o Dank
o Putrid
o Sweet
o Fruity
Sound
o Clattering
o Banging
o Thumping
o Retching
o Crying
o Musical
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Portal Theory
There's a thing called Portal Theory. It honestly really helps with character creation. Have them hold some event in their past that haunts them or reason as to the way they act.
Have at least 2 events from a character’s past to have an enormous effect on the characters present and future actions.
Continuity feature – same physical features on 2 or more characters
o Shows they are in the same family, not just randoms
Omen – silence
o Something bad is about to happen
Talisman
o Can connect characters and situations together (in often a symbolic way).
Have at least 2 events from a character’s past to have an enormous effect on the characters present and future actions.
Continuity feature – same physical features on 2 or more characters
o Shows they are in the same family, not just randoms
Omen – silence
o Something bad is about to happen
Talisman
o Can connect characters and situations together (in often a symbolic way).
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Problems with Characters
Problems with Characters
- 2D characters
- Too fantastic (could never happen)
- Must keep some realism in stories, otherwise there will be no interest
- Emotions
- Interest - Stems all over emotions. Their curiosity can keep them going even when they are afraid
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Classic Quest Structure
- Hero in ordinary world – shows the hero in their ordinary life.
- Call to adventure – hero is presented with a problem and the stakes are set.
- Refusal of the call – hero is fearful and not committed. A further offence or a change in circumstances or a mentor is needed to propel hero into action.
- Meeting with a Mentor – a mentor arrives to help prepare the hero for the coming ordeal.
- Cross the FIRST threshold – the interface between the known and unknown worlds. Meets threshold guardians and the hero commits.
- Tests, allies and enemies – hero encounters new challenges and tests, makes allies and enemies, and learns the rules of the special world.
- Approach and Crossing the SECOND threshold – hero comes to the edge of a dangerous place where the object of the quest is hidden. Hero often pauses to plan and outwit the villan’s guards.
- Supreme ordeal – hero faces greatest fear and possibility of death
- Reward or Seizing the Sword – hero takes possession of the treasure, or the achievement of the goal. Hero at one with new self.
- The road back – dark forces can pursue hero and the prize
- Resurrection – hero is reborn and “purified” after another life and death moment with pursuing forces.
- Returning with the Elixir/Boon – hero discovers the gift. i.e. wiser, richer, enlightened, and can contribute to society. However, things may not run smoothly and society may reject the hero’s knowledge.
Act 1 – Setup
Act 2 – Obstacles overcome
Act 3 – Resolution
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Sure Fire Ideas for Short Stories
The following is a quick, easy and cheap way to create a plot line for short stories.
1. Most important thing in the world to your character “eg privacy, money, family, books, reputation”
a. Put it at risk
b. Take it away from them
2. Take your character from the normal everyday setting and come up with a reason to put them in a setting that is the exact opposite.
1. Most important thing in the world to your character “eg privacy, money, family, books, reputation”
a. Put it at risk
b. Take it away from them
2. Take your character from the normal everyday setting and come up with a reason to put them in a setting that is the exact opposite.
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Character Development
Take several items at complete random, and implement them into a story. I did this with the following draft using earplugs, a deck of cards “52 ways to make a difference”, a name at random, and airplane earphones. I distorted the idea of airplane earphones, and decided to go with a scene in an airplane.
- They are an African business woman researching/selling products in America
- They have just arrived off the plane – a long and weary flight where a baby behind them wouldn’t stop crying
- They don’t like kids (and much other intimate interaction) as they had a rather solitude and lonely childhood.
- A mentor /work colleague gave them a deck of cards “52 ways to make a difference”
- They don’t seem too happy, even on the best of times
- They are 32 years old
- Nyah = purpose (African name)
Nyah, raped at a young age, finds herself too anti-social, and wishes that she could just connect with her daughter. She can’t bear to be too close to people (physically and emotionally); she has created a mental wall .Travelling, as a family, to America for business, really opens her eyes to possibilities. Usually paranoid, with a complete lack of trust towards males, she struggles through America. After meeting a young man, her whole life and perspective is changed around – until something happens.
She wont shut up. If only she would shut up. God, I hate babies! They always cry and whinge... Yes I know I was a baby, but I was not THAT kind of baby. Oh god, I have a headache... Where are those ear plugs?
...
Huh, what’s this? Oh that stupid deck of cards. Why on... ear plugs, put them in! Shut up little baby, I can’t think!
That bloody deck of cards – they are going to haunt me now. Everywhere I go there just is going to be someone like HIM. Why don’t men ever understand – I don’t want to have a relationship with them... no its not the relationships... relationships are fine... its them... its the bloody sex! What is it with men and their sex craved minds? If I hadn’t been for men and their sexual desires I would never have... yes... It’s not my fault; he did it to me. I didn’t want it, and yet I had no choice. If only men didn’t want sex...
“Oi, will you shut that baby up already?” I shouldn’t have shouted; now it’s only crying louder. God, I hate babies. I detest babies! I wish I had never been born! I wish I had never given birth!
Another way to create a character is to ask questions about who they are:
Name: Alexander Rayne
Age: 17/18
Occupation: Drop out of school
1. Who do they Live with?
Alex lives with his father and two brothers in a mansion. Although Alex is accustomed to luxury and getting everything he wants, he despises that everything he owns and that everything he is given is because he and his family belong to the mafia. Alex desperately attempts to get away from his family and his ‘tainted’ possessions by spending much of his free time in the ‘slums’ neighbourhood or by extreme camping – he tends to just wander off into the forest near the mansion by himself for days at a time without explanation, warning or provisions. This causes his father to be protective and always trying to control Alex’s life – something Alex does not want.
2. Who is their closest friend?
Alex does not seem to socialise much with people. He despises his family and all those connected to his family. He has tried making friends outside of family connections, however they have tended to wind up dead, or could not deal with close contact with mafia members, or Alex hurt them in some way. Alex has been brought up in a male dominated, war and fighting family. Because of this he acts like that towards members of the society, which he blames himself and his family for. In one sense, he is self loathing.
3. Do/Did they enjoy school?
Alex found that the high-requirement of social interaction was frustrating. He gets good grades, and is good at manipulating people, however he knows that his good grades and comments are not because of his skill or how smart he is. His father has ‘some’ influence there... Because of his seeming dis-like for social interaction he drops out of high school. His father does not believe that he needs the schooling, and anything does not know he will learn on real life experience.
Tutorial: Creative Writing: Types of Books
There are two types (general) of books
- Action driven
- Character driven
Don’t write a single word until you know the character inside-out. The more specific (detailed) you get with a character the more interesting they are.
- What does a character’s space say about them
- What is their bedroom like? Is it clean, messy?
- Where do they keep their mess piles?
- What is in their bags?
Tutorial: Creative Writing: How to Get Inspiration
How to get inspiration
By using a simple line that someone tells you, you can instantly have a great idea that leads to an entire story.
Use newspaper article headlines as inspiration
“model spotted near death scene”
- What was she doing there?
- Did she/he have something involved with the murder?
- Who was murdered?
- How were they murdered?
- What location – shopping mall???
“man beaten to death by crowd”
- Why was he killed?
- Who killed him?
Tutorial: How to Write Creatively: Using Your Experiences
Using your Experiences
- Use aspects, memories and experiences of your own life in your stories
Lunch was always an interesting time for me during primary school; it was always filled with talking, laughing and of course, jokes and pranks.
My class teacher gave us fruit one day, and I was more than happy to eat a simple green apple. However, I eventually found that it was more fun to try and carve ‘worm’ holes in it. So I set about carving up my apple.
A prank was played on the teacher when I showed him my ‘worm’ hole, and I found my work-in-progress apple was taken off me.
But I at least had the muffin that my friend traded with me.
The muffin was not so good in the end – it had spider webs in it.
Both my friend and I ended up hungry.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Joke: I need serious Help
Major problem
I have never written asking for your help before, but I really need your advice.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them.'
I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife.
I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her.
Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls. ' When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3-wood. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it?
can you advise me, please .
Joke: Doc: Cooking
THIS IS AN OLD RECIPE, BUT WORKS LIKE A WONDER, GIVE IT A TRY.
Easy Chicken Recipe
Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that.
When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.
Give this a try.
4 - 5 lb. Chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT is good here)
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Brush chicken well with melted butter salt, and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing mixed with popcorn.
Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's arse blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room and lands on the table, it's done and ready to eat.
And, you thought I couldn't cook
Monday, December 01, 2008
Joke: Post Office Staff
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it was those bastards at the Post Office.
Edna
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it was those bastards at the Post Office.
Edna
Joke: Woman Eaten by a Leopard
Woman swallowed whole by leopardI thought it was one of those fake emails too, until I saw the photo below. Somehow the woman must have been lodged in the leopard's throat and apparently they cut the leopard's head off to let the woman escape. She was unharmed.... Unbelievable!!CAUTION-Photo follows. May be too frightening for many viewers
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